Recently, as it so often does, my analytical mind drifted slowly back over the years, resting upon the people I love, many I have loved and are still in my heart and mind.
Including the pharmacy lady who has sold me disprin for 7 years whose name I don't even know but we greet one another like long lost friends! If I moved away I would just find another pharmacy lady, so easily can she be replaced in MY life.........
Why do I not "love" them all. We are told to love one another as He has loved us. Mmmmm..... sorry, I don't even KNOW the whole of mankind, so for a mere human such as I, that would be impossible.
But this is what I am able to give to the people in my heart and mind.
For my mother, I have known her for as long as I can remember, so that would be forever for me. She went through the discomfort of pregnancy and the pain of childbirth, the exasperation of raising me, saving me from myself in my teens, giving me wisdom with my children. And hey - the miracle is that she still loves me! She has taught me to love, care, have empathy and sympathy for others. I learned from her example. She will always have my love, gratitude and respect.
My husband (profile 1) - we shared intimacies, planned a family and a future, raised children together (did not always agree on that one though)! We share 4 lovely children and our 7th grandchild is on the way. He has been there most of my life and will always have a place in my heart.
My husband (profile 2) Quite a different relationship altogether and cannot be compared to profile 1. He has 3 grown children who have another mother and has a past that I did not share in as did not share in mine. I am blessed that I can speak of my past and he can speak of his. Neither should be forgotten and we both appreciate this. When we are asked how many grandchildren we have we ask, his, hers or the total between us. That's where it gets scary.
Profile 1 and 2 have separate rules I discovered.
Children - I love all 4 adult children equally, each has something special to bring to me and the world around them. My love for them is unconditional, they can become anyone and make as many mistakes they will, I will help to pick up the pieces and carry on. It doesn't get better than that.
Grandchildren. These little people are very special and I can love them any way I want to. Freely, on my terms, I can allow them to do anything, take what liberties they may without any of the fall out or the responsibility! You have to agree that that is a good thing to have!
Last but certainly not least, my two sisters, who were years younger than I so it was not easy being a part of their lives. I do remember playing with them as babies and fighting with them as they grew up, all the things siblings do. I love them dearly and no distance between us will change that.
So, to sum up, I will do my best not to take for granted my relationship with others lightly, to nuture them, not cause them pain knowingly, to acknowledge when I am wrong and not to judge them as I do not see their hearts. That is my goal, but, alas, not matter how hard I try I fear I shall fall short of being perfect in my efforts due to my humity, so all I can do is ask for forgiveness when I am wrong, patience until realisation dawns, because my best will not be the best it should be or the best I want it to be.
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