REUNION!!!!

top left : Lisa, gran and Kerry
bottom photo: top, JP, Natalia, Tessni Bottom row: Brian and Louisa, Lisa, Kerry holding Shanni
Johan, Kerry's husband

The family missing is Shirley, Trevor, Vicky and Jessie, who live in Cape Town


From the time my children were very young I tried to instil in them a strong bond for one another. So often we grow up, marry, leave home, leaving too all the memories we had of our siblings during school days, dating, - we fought and loved together too.

Then guess what, we marry and do not see one another for another 25 years! We have no idea what kind of lives our sibilings have, the traumas they have had to face, knowing their children as they grew, and the closeness is gone from us and they have become cleaved (as it should be) to someone else and formed a new family with its own identity.

I hardly know my sister Ann in England other than what our mom tells me (thank goodness for her), she has no children but married recently to a wonderful man, and he must be wonderful if he has made her happy! A very picky young child she was and I guess she stayed that way!

Then there is Colleen, a little younger. I had more contact with her and did know her children for some time. But we visited one another mainly as we were the only 2 in the family who presented our mom with her only 2 grandsons within 5 months of one another! Colleen is now in Dubai as her husband is an engineer, and they have moved around the world most of their married lives. If it were not for MOM, I really wonder whether we would even by in touch today. Very, very sad, as we are blood and family is very important. There was a large age difference between myself and Ann and Colleen. I was in class 1 when Ann was born and they had this kind of click which did not include me, I felt it was my right to tease and torment them, especially Ann. I was the BOSS. When I married they were both in school still speaking their secret language, and when I had my first child, Shirley, they were STILL in school. So you see, they were close and still are, and I kind of float around out in space trying to remember them as we grew up! In my minds eye I see (don't laugh) myself and my mom in a bubble, Ann and Colleen and mom in another bubble, and a large bubble encompassing all of us. How strange the mind is.

I am sorry that we did not keep up for all those years, but since the internet and emailing is now available, and my daughter in Middleeburg introduced me to it, I am getting to know them, I receive pics from them, news, it is wonderful, I feel a part of their lives, and there are no more clicks!

I partly succeeded with my children. They too live far from one another, with 2 in Cape Town and 2 in Middleburg, so there is still a close connection. The girls are very close in age which has helped, having 3 teenage daughters in the home at one time was harrowing. We had an endless stream of boys, the coffee, sugar and milk disappeared before my very eyes too.

Then Brian came along some 11 years later, he was a gentle and kindhearted little boy, he had many friends so there were sleepovers etc.

They grew up and yes, you guessed it, 2 married and started families with its own essence, and the sisters grew away to a certain degree from the others. Lisa, who is the mother of Natalia, was married for a short while, but is now an excellent single mom, Natalia started school last week. See my last post! Brian and Louisa are presenting me with my 7th grandchild.

Now, if you will take a look at the photos at the top of the post, you will see something that I will not forget for the rest of my life. Lisa made a huge effort, stretched her finances, and went to visit her sibilings and her grandmother whom she has not seen for 10 years. I was probably more excited than they all were! She and her gran have not seen one another for 10 years, so gran has never seen this great grandchild (Natalia). Kerry, she has not seen Kerry for 10 years either.

So, the last time Lisa saw Kerry (and there is only l year between them) was when Tessni was l year old, she is 11 now. So she does not know JP, and certainly not 17 month old Shanni. Kerry in her turn has only seen photos of Natalia.

Lisa and Brian were always close over the years and he was 14 the last time she saw him, and did not recognise this tall hairy man who was her little brother!

I hope they do not leave it for another 10 years, that would be very sad, but now that the ball has started rolling, my prayer for you all is that you all go that extra mile to share old memories, and I know you have plenty! and give the coursins a chance to know one another.

Well done Lisa, brave girl to travel from Cape Town to Middleburg with a child.

That's the spirit!

GIANT STEP INTO A NEW ERA

Today was one of the biggest, most exciting milestones in my 6th granddaughter Natalia's young life.

She started BIG SCHOOL and was very excited, it was something new and it MUST be important as mom has spoken about how wonderful it will be for ages now. THEN there was that huge rush buying uniforms, including matching brooks, shoes and socks, and all that stationary. Can ANYTHING be more exciting then to embark on such an adventure when a girl is 6!

For mom.......she is devastated, her baby is taking a giant step into the world, and she has a lump in her throat the size of an apple, she is weepy and wonders if she will survive this ordeal. She did not sleep well the night before, tossing and turning, she wears dark glasses to hide the evidence of her ordeal.

Every minute of the day, until 12 noon her mind is nowhere else but in that classroom where she handed her child over to ANOTHER WOMAN. Will she understand her, be able to 'read' her as she herself can, will she have fun today and look forward to tomorrow or will mom have to drag her kicking and screaming? Each child reacts differently, every mom the same, with heavy hearts.

Natalia will be more tired than normal today as more is expected of her. This is not preschool where the rules are more flexible, but this is the first step into learning to integrate into society one day so that she may become a contributing citizen, and rounded adult.

However, I know ONE little girl who had it all figured out and had sized up the situation on her 1st day of school years before. I was called in by the teacher on THE FIRST DAY and was told that Lisa had thrown all her pencils, crayons and her sissors out of the window. She told us they 'fell out of the window'. Do you want to know what this imaginative 6 year old said when taken to task? "If I have no pencils or crayons, then I can't go back to school!"

Well, Natalia is a chip off the old block so I wonder how this day will end for her.

Lisa, I am feeling your anguish baby girl, but it gets better and can even be an exciting road for the 2 of you to travel along together, making plenty of memories along the way, so, take her by the hand and walk with her - you will be amazed at the blessings that come your way.

And it just keeps getting better.

MY WONDERFUL YEAR OF DISCOVERY

Above : Brian born 11
years after his sisters

My precious daughters for whom life was hard.

It is almost a year now since that fateful day when Kerry, my daughter in Middleburg, introduced me to the world of blogging.

At the time I had no plan for its purpose other then as a means to keep abreast with what was happening in my offsprings lives and the lives of my grandchildren.

As time went by, it took on a life on its own and evolved into a series of short stories of my life, the lives of my children and the event that took place before my children were born, and durinig times when they were too young to remember. It has told them of what life was like for them in war torn Rhodesia. The funny, the sad and the melancholy things that were our lives.

They came to love these stories as time had blurred them in their young minds.

The stories always came to me, I never an agenda. A photo, a comment made, and there it was glimpse into the past. It promoted great interest in them in their heritage as 2nd generation Rhodesians. A country their father fought for, and one we all believed in.

I loved the crystal clear clarity as I travelled with them and had the prigiledge of taking them on that journey.

I recalled the immense support I received from my mom. we were travel partners is so many ways. She was there when Kerry fell off her toy cupboard and concussed herself. She was my strength is so many ways. Our menfolk were most often absent.

I am thankful that they were too small to remember to know that they were not living as freely or safely as many other children.

We could not travel on the roads without going in convoys, and they learnt from tots how to read the bush, noises of the bush were good, it meant there were no intruders in the countryside, silence was not good, and dad would drive with one had on his pistol, his eyes moving left and right, the childrens lives depended upon complete obedience without question, and when told to get on the floor, that is what they did, immediately. Their lives were harsh and disciplined for such small children,

We did the best we could to bring them joy, to laugh and teach them that there were always silver linings. They had parents who loved them and we loved them.

But, praise God, nothing lasts for ever, and there came a time when they were able to live as normal little girls.

My son knew better times, and it was a joy to be able to raise a child without fear.

I remarried when he was 10 and he spent his teen years with my self and my second husband, who never stood between us.

My journey has been full of discovery. I have found humour, lost joy, understanding, patience, insight and wisdom, and yes, step by tiny step I have found me and all I thought I had lost.