THE KRAZI KIDS GROW UP PART IV - BRIAN

When Brian was 20 months old we saw him with my lipstick.  The lipstick was all over his face and his pyjamas, and the lipstick tube was empty.

Before he was 3 years old I realised that this child was an iceberg waiting for Titanic.

Before the age of 10, he had broken his nose twice, right collar bone once, right arm once and dived into a swimming pool wall slicing his eyebrow open and needing 7 stitches.

The Doctor ordered a complete body xray to reassure himself that this was not an abused child. That was a real morale downer for a mother who had 3 older daughters,  trying to juggle all these  characters in the air, and I was definitely not even a second class juggler. There were some unavoidable breakages along the way.


As was his energy, his appetite was of monstrous proportions and as he grew older he was constantly looking for food. The bread bin was always full.  Must be a regular factory in there, and the fridge was just part of the team.

He was gentle, kind, adored animals and wouldn't stand on a bug if he could help it.

Thus was his temperament and he took it with him into adulthood.

When he was 10 years old his father and I separated. For Brian the shock was total, the recognition complete. All our lives changed and we were at the lowest point in our lives so far. He had become a lost and confused child and didn't know where he belonged, and I could not help him, I had nothing to give. It has been a heavy cross to carry.

During his teens he rebelled against everything and everyone, there were parties and girls, he went through them like a bandit. I was permanently fearful for him. By now his sisters were married and had come to terms with much of this. Brian and I just had to figure things out as we went from day to day.

In his early 20's he met  a girl, Louiza, who changed his life around, with her he found happiness and enjoyed life again. He chose wisely.  She gave him the ultimate gift of a son, Nathan. who is 22 months old at the printing of this post. 

That forgotten loving temperament manifested itself once again. They have made one another happy. Brian works for Komati Power Station in Mpumalanga and Louiza has started a  photophaphy business "Nimmo Photography" which is picking up nicely, and is in Ermelo where they live.


Brians Dad was killed in a head on car collision with a drunken driver just six weeks before Nathan was born, so he never saw his grandson.


And enter Nathan.

A few hours old....

Look now, with mom....


Fishing with Dad at the dam outside Ermelo...

Eating bananas with dad....


There was a time Brian's life could have taken a very different and tragic course, but I have learned that the traits with which we are born may become suppressed during the course of our lives, but are always there, and with the right support and love will reappear again and give life to strength, maturity and experience.


This has been a difficult post for me to write as I have had to live through a lot of the trauma of our broken lives again. 


But this story has a great silver lining, don't you thing?

THE KRAZI KIDS GROW UP PART lll - LISA

We last saw Lisa and I doing battle over kicking the dummy habit. I won.

However, during the course of our mother-daughter relationship, I did not ALWAYS win as she was indeed a force to be reckoned with.  But under her tough persona was a not so brave little girl. However, she was always a fighter.  She never gave any indication that she was troubled by anything and would store up fears, so when I least expected, and believing all was well in her world, she would have a melt down of mammoth proportions.  I spent many years on guilt trips, believing I must be an awful mother not to sense that she was in any way unhappy, I was so sure my children were always happy, and did the best I could for them, Oh, how I wished many times that I could read their minds!

Once I had picked up all the pieces and put my child back together again, she would tell me of her tragedy. She would  be fine until the next tragedy, and I never saw them coming. Not sharing worries, she was a victim of this debilitating affliction, but it was part of who she was. As she grew into adulthood she learn to cope and manage, trust did not come easily. It still doesn't.

Once she finished school, this complicated little soul, who underestimated her own strengths, passed matric, and here she is at her Matric Dance. All grown up.

She went onto Varsity College in Durban, did very well, and her brother-in-law, who was Manager of a top Durban hotel on the beach front, helped her secure her first job. She has stayed in the hotel business, climbed the ladder and (I'm going to say it!) I am soooo proud of you!!

Natalia was born 8 years ago, but she has been a single mom since Natalia was just over a year old. 

 Being a single mom is not easy, I know well what she has been through      and seen how hard it has been to cope with work and sicknesses on her own, has had no one to share joys and first days of school with, and since Shirley, her eldest sister and her family moved to England a year ago, it has been a little bit harder, but she has has grown in strength and has retained her quirky sense of humour throughout. 

Natalia is 5 in this picture. She's a happy tot, with a strong will of her own. Lisa has provided well for her, she attends a small Christian school where there are only a few children in each class. 

Lisa and Natalia only have one another resulting in a very close relationship. 

I think this picture says it all don't you?


I say with love and pride "That is my youngest daughter, and against all odds, she made it."