YOUR SAFE PLACE

Those were indeed the days, the days that taught me what to value above all else, the gift of family.

We were poor and trying to survive on a Policeman's salary in Rhodesia in the 1970's. The bush war reached it's peak in that decade, and we were to become ever grateful for the gift of life. Never before had we appreciated one  another as we did at that time. Mayhem surrounded us, husbands were gone for months at a time, fathers missed huge parts of the growing up of their small children.

Our first child, above, walked at 9 months, her father missed her first birthday, as well as these first steps.

Mothers were left to take care of the children and the home plus all the responsibility that goes with it. Sleepless night followed sleepless night. One child fell ill and 2 others followed. "Where are you now?" I asked. But no one heard. 

 And three years later, when there were three, I was still asking the same question. There were no answers. I remembered then  my mother always telling me that nothing lasts forever. Good news then, but upon looking back, neither does having those precious babies last forever, for they grow up, marry and have children of their own. And we are left with memories. Photographs and memories.

It was a solitary struggle. We fought our own wars as mom's, taking children on outings, packing extra clothes, formula, extra formula that is, just in case! It was exhausting just trying to give our children a normal life.

 

We did.We also came out of it unscathed, and here we are, not quite all grown up, but happy and healthy! We had had to leave our beloved country for whom so many had died. They are scattered all over the world now, but many of us have found ways of coming together. We can thank some dedicated people for this. People who have formed groups where we can connect with old friends. So I for one have not only found old friends, but have also found half my primary school class as well! And that is thanks for a few dedicated  folks who have made this possible. 

How wonderful it is! You know who you are, and we are grateful that many of you cared enough, and had a vision that kept us connected. I also learned something else throughout the years. Strong bonds were unknowingly being formed between us because we only had one another. We stood alone for so long, but it made us strong.

We always found time to take time out and spend quality time with our young families when Dad's were back. This is Shirley just after her 1st birthday. Nine months after this picture was taken Kerry was born! So long ago and yet it is as if it were yesterday. In the mountains outside Umtali, The last time we were here was on our honeymoon 2 years before! A photo can bring back a memory of everything that was going on at the time. What wonderful things memories are. Especially photographs, they have a great way of transporting us back and bringing to life memories buried in the recesses of our minds!  

That my girls, ends a very special era of your lives, an era you will not easily remember if at all. It was of the country of your birth, and your father's birth. I hope that I have left you with memories in this blog that you can read and re-read, and pass onto your children as part of their heritage.

 

Now we enter another stage of our lives. Brian is born. He is not a Rhodesian. He was born in Pretoria. The only tie he has is that his father was a 2nd generation Rhodesian. His story will be a different one.

 

Brian had freedom. Freedom to experience his young life, with sisters around him, and an ever-present father. He was born free. He will never know what it is like to travel to school in a landmine vehicle! This is your life, in the land of your birth. Treasure the memories you have and will still make. Realise your dreams. You can.

 

Three years ago. Only Shirley and her family are missing from this picture. Enjoy making many memories with your children. 

 

I will not be writing much more about your childhoods. I have already captured the most memorable parts. But my wish for you is this - be happy, and remember your childhoods as the safe and magical place we tried to make it for you. A place where you can return to in your  minds when life's storms buffet you and knock you down. Know that hard times end. There is light at the end of every tunnel, a silver lining around every cloud.

 

 

Know that you were cherished, and let happy memories be your safe place to fall.